He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
