..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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