I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
