your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
