ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dignity is for republicans.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
