It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
