Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
