yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
