her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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