ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
