just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
