so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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