I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
