grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize