remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I wear drunk well.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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