even my farts smell like vagina
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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