I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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