You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
