He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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