Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
