Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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