Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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