She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
