If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
tell me about the fingering
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