She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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