He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
