We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
