so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
