I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize