youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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