please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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