So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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