He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.