The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
