guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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