Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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