Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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