Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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