I hate your face
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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