whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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