No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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