How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
