new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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