Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
