Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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