You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
