I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
