sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
