Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
