dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
