I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
