Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
vagina is talking i cant
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.