girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
