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• (817): View more from Texas

  Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Turn them off?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I love you more with every blowjob.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  You should write for Hallmark.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.

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• (925): View more from California

  You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change

  (303): View more from Colorado

  well did he get it

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ....yes

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"

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• (917): View more from New York City

  The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.

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