Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
