god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That's how pantless uber rides happen