i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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