You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
