I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I believe in your delicious
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
