So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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