There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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