Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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