But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
