It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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