Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
