I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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