he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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