I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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